| there's no i in team. |
[Mar. 24th, 2012|10:19 pm] |
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Today, I saw something that was very very extremely (can't find any better word for this) inspirational. I thought that those inspirational movies are meant to inspire us, but no. What happened today was a real inspiration. I never get this feeling when i watched those inspiration movie. This overwhelming feeling that those directors thought that can be replicated in movies, can never be felt any better than just now as i was watching yunkuan's race.
Naturally i was very worried for him because he was extremely sick. So unwell that his expression before the race was just different. Normally, he will show his smiles, but not today. As i was watching his race, all i could do was pray, pray that he will be well and row safely till the finish line. When i saw him leading, leaning at every single stroke till he bent his whole body forward, i know how much he wants this. How much he really want to win this for the team. As he crossed the finishing line, i saw his whole body just bent forward and he was coughing. I know that he gave his best till the end. When i saw that scene, my heart aches. I was filled with this emotion, something that i cant describe. He truly inspired me to give my best for the team, to really do it for the team (although i knew right from the start that im paddling for the team, but he affirms my thinking).
Sidetrack for a while.
Ever since idk when, I saw this fire in my team. I was surrounded by people who are really hungry to win and not settle for 2nd or 3rd placing. I felt the amount of hard work that this team put in every single week and I cant back down. I felt the need to work even harder (and yes i know that im still the slowest girl in the team) and I felt so motivated that canoeing became my priority in my life right now (not that my studies come 2nd, but i know when to prioritize what). You dont know that feeling of wanting to win because i want to win it for my team. that feeling came back to me now that im in this team and i know that i have to do something for the team.
going back.
After watching yunkuan's race, i told myself that "I cannot die. Im the front man, i must carry on no matter what happen. I must not die. I must not let yunkuan down". That became my desire as i was warming up.
I did my warm up properly so that i could use my legs and not my hands (hands will die easily), and planned well what i wanted to do.
During our warmup paddling, it felt good and I thought we will do good. That was how much faith i had in my boat, my team mates behind me.
As i saw the other 2 boats paddling around, i have to admit that i was nervous. But there was this voice inside my head that was repeating Jori's words "focus, you just look front". As what i always do, I pray before starting any race to calm myself down and to pray for God's guidance and also to tell myself that to paddle in the name of God (because he is the one that gave me my 2 hands, 2 legs, and everything else. I am his instrument on this Earth).
So, we started our race and saw that the nus boat was just beside us and they are slowly pulling away. Normally, i would have panicked. BUT I DIDN'T. I felt the need to stay calm and just focus on my race, plus jori's words kept reminding me to focus and just look front. I managed to stay calm throughout the race, which i felt that it is something surprising.
I thought the frequency was good enough for the rest of the 3 people at the back to put in power and i felt the power and the kick at the middle of the race. As we were approaching the 2nd last buoy, i know that i have to sprint all the way to the finishing line. I heard the GO and i tried to increase the frequency. but there was a sudden tilt to the left and i heard a tap of a paddle. The tilt was bearable, i swear, but it was just that i had to exit my paddle faster and kick more on the right and my stroke became horrible, but i just kept paddling.
As soon as i heard the tap, i knew that something was wrong at the back and i dared not increase my frequency although i wanted to do it badly because we are catching up with nus. I dont want to lose our coordination and lose our power, so i just maintained and put in more power at every stroke (and i did just that. used my legs, my trunk and my arms and my all, hoping that the rest of the crew will do just that).
Sadly, the boat became damn shaky but it was still bearable. As we approached the finishing line, I saw nus crossed the buoy first followed by us. I stopped paddling immediately (because i knew that we crossed the line) and my head was down naturally. 2 things crossed my mind - yunkuan and the guys at the boardwalk cheering for us. I felt that i have let them down, especially yunkuan. I can imagine their faces, their disappointment ): But i cant do anything, I cant have a re-race. I can only put my head down, in shame.
Today, I felt the strong urge to win for my team, the team that i spent half of my day with everyday. I couldnt describe that feeling of wanting to make those guys at the boardwalk something to cheer about. I was paddling for the team and for God. That feeling was so strong.
I dont want the fame of winning, but i want the team to have that fame.
We are after all part of the team - dont just paddle for yourself. Think about those people out there who are cheering for you, who are you team mates, who are your best friends. They are the ones who made you stronger each training, and they are the ones whom you go through thick and thin with.
Paddle hard for NTU CANOEING TEAM, for your friends, your team mates.
and, Paddle hard to keep the NTU SPIRIT alive in our hearts till the day that you graduate.
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